Old Farting Advice
This is where I store old questions.

John Carjack writes...

    I was driving in my fancy car and I shit my pants. Some of my shit oozed through my shorts and onto my 28 inch flat/widescreen monitor. Do you think Circuit City will take back my "shitty" monitor?

AskCote responds...

    Why yes dick face. They will accept your monitor, but it's going to cost you some loot. Please wire me 8 million dollars to my xab6jlathlon bank account. It looks like your fart smelling program skills are gonna get you audi this mess buckaroo. Don't step to the grand master of the funk dada rhymes yo bitch ass ho!...BTW I program OGL in my fucking sleep bitch!

Heather Fartley writes...

    Michel Foucault, a French philosopher who attempted to show that the basic ideas which people normally take to be permanent truths about human nature and society change in the course of history, challenged the influence of German political philosopher Karl Marx and Austrian psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud by offering new concepts that challenged people's assumptions about prisons, the police, insurance, care of the mentally ill, gay rights, and welfare. Do you agree or disagree with his ideals? I am specifically interested in your thoughts on his departure from Freud's Oedipal/Electra "theory" concerning homosexuality....was the dichotomy inherent in Freud's theory really implicit or simply an explicit example of Freud's own homosexual tendencies?

AskCote responds...

    My ass feels for you on this one. This one has farts smell all over it. It stinks like fucking shit. You stink like shit. I stink like shit. We both stink like shit. Mike and I go way back. We are both french. I like french bread, fries, dressing, farts, and women. Karl, or Ildolf "the midget" as Mikey and I used to call him, was German. He's a freaking retard. He doesn't know a burp from a fart. Signut "it's Austr(a)i(li)an for mental case!" Freud has a big lip. He's a fag. He doesn't know an NV10 from a Korean web page taking benchmarks on atari games. Ildolf and Signut would buy a Virite 1000 before they would ever consider buying a next gen card, regardless of a butt hole to push polys. Poly want an NV10? I use SLI with my 463a cream cheese and celary processor... In conclusion, once a french fart, always a french fart. You can take that one to the fucking bIZank!

Gouda Foota writes...

    I have a cheese toe. I don't know what to do. My toe smells like poo, and I didn't even step in something this time. What should I do? All my friends make fun of me and throw mud at my foot. I tell them to leave my mouse alone.

AskCote responds...

    Yeah, great. I'd throw mud on your toe if I had the chance also. Try using a little more vinagar on your cheese. This should effect your quake 3 frame rate by 100,000 seconds per frame. I like driving my Honda Civic around with my DVDHDTVCDRAM___STOCK and lock hj1pq series 5 doggie woofer. Nuff spread on white toast. For a detailed explanation why I stopped updating my plan goto: gopher://my.name.is.mike.com/hit_my_flower.

Dr. Willis writes...

    I am interested in getting either a pony or a buffalo. I can't decide though. Can you help me? Thanks. -- Dr. Willis

AskCote responds...

    Does your butt stink in the morning or something pal? Shit or get off th e pot! Seriously, this is a tuff question you have here. My initial reaction is to go with the bony pony with Bologna. Sure, it's got a nice as, but who gives a shit. The buffalo on the other hand has a smelly bottom. You can rid the pony a nd feed it beano, or you could smell the buffalo and feed it chilli and beans. S on, do you like the smell of crusty farts in the morning? Well I do. Order the b ufflo, feed it the bologna, and send the bony pony idea back to Ethiopia!

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