FAQ:
Frequently Asked Questions or Farts Are Qwool.

Q. What does antifart mean?
A. Antifart, n., a remission of wind from the anus. 
It's basically a reverse fart produced by pounding and sphincter manipulation.

History:
I learned about my antifarting ability when I was about 13 years old. I've been fairly thin up until when my lung collapsed about 4 years ago. I feel that being thin encouraged my discovery of the antifart. Anyway, I was on all 4's and I farted. I don't know why, but I sucked in my stomach. Suddenly, air was sucked into my butt. I just antifarted. I couldn't believe my ears. Farts were hard to come by in those days, so this was a blessing. I must has antifarted for about 15 times before it stopped working. I was still amazed at my ability to fart 15 times in a row. I was completely blow away. I seriously couldn't stop laughing. It was awesome. So I moved on to perfecting the antifart by lying on my back with my ass in the air. Sometimes I could lay on my back for 10 minutes and not antifart. The secret was pounding you ass with your free hand. This is known as "breaking the seal". The other hand was used to keep your butt in the air.

Technical Explanation:
When your ass is in the air, you organs tend to pull down creating a negative pressure. When you suck in your stomach you complement this effect. It is not always necessary to pound. Pounding is used as an aid to "break the seal". A experienced person can antifart without pounding. Some individuals don't even need to place their ass in the air, let along lie on their backs. So basically when you antifart it's just like breathing. Your diaphragm creates a negative pressure in your lungs. The pressure outside of your lung is greater thereby causing air to flow into your lungs. This is true with the antifart. You are creating a negative pressure in your butt with your organs/diaphragm. The pressure outside of your butt is greater thereby cause air to pass into your butt. The sound, like a normal fart, is caused by your sphincter vibrating. A very experienced person can actually avoid the vibrations/fart sound altogether by opening his/her sphincter entirely and passing air in both directions. This is called breathing. And yes, It actually sounds like a person breathing.

Definitions:
antifart, n., a remission of wind from the anus.
antied, v., short form of antifarted
pounding v., the act of striking one's anus with one's first for antifarting
breathing, v., the process in which a person passes air back and forth through ones sphincter with out causing sprinter vibration.

Directions:
1. lie on your back on a soft surface like a bed
2. pull your knees into your shoulders
3. prop your butt in the air by using your arms
4. lock your butt in the air by placing one hand on your hip (similar to a pregnant woman placing their hands on their hips) and using your elbow as a kick stand or grab a stationary object behind you. This position is similar to a person doing an upside-down "kick your legs in the air" aerobic bike exercise.
5. suck in your stomach
6. relax your sphincter
7. with the other hand, "pound" your asshole
8. pound until you "break the seal"
9. when you hear the sound, congratulations, you have just antifarted.
10. rinse and repeat up until you are on the verge of death via laughter

Recommendations:
1. have an empty stomach
2. be skinny
3. have an empty asshole. a.k.a.. no caca in butt. a.k.a.. take a shit for
added capacity and easier seal breakage
4. hold off on the Olestra and Wow chips.

Final Thought:
Antifarts are great. they promote self-creativity and build character. It's also serves as a great party trick. If you have some spare time on your hands give it a try. If at first your don't succeed, try, try again.

Q. Can you antifart?
A. Yes, Click Here

Q. Can I use your material on my site?
A. Sure, just link it back to my site.

Q. Are you on any form of therapy?
A. No.

Q. Are you lying?
A. Maybe.

Q. Is it true that you only have one lung?
A. Sort of, In early '96 my lung collapsed (a.k.a. "internal fart"). I was put on a chest tube for about a week until they found out is wasn't healing. I was then transferred to another hospital where I underwent surgery and had 10%-15% of my right lung removed. Coincidentally, I have increased my farting and antifarting capacity by 10%-15% percent.

Q. What do you do for a living?
A. I work for antifart.com and I am part of the IBAW, Internal Brotherhood of Antifart Workers.

Q. What do you do for a living?
A. I dingle with my jingle as I mingle with this single...

Q. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING????
A. Dam, three times....I work for Verizon Communications (a.k.a. pre divestiture AT&T->New England Telephone-> Nynex->Bell Atlantic and now Verizon). I am a Equipment Installation Technician. I've worked there since April of '96, three days before my lung collapsed. 

Q. Who are you?
A. My name is El' Dante....and I was wondering. Is this, or is this not, THE SCHOOL BUS!@#
My real name is Christopher Micheal Cote.

Q. I have a question or an idea for a cartoon. How do I contact you?
A. You can e-mail me at spam@antifart.com.

Q. How do you draw your cartoons?
A. I use a Wacom 4x5 drawing table & digital pen. I use Flash 4.0 to animate my blasts.

Q. Is it true that you were the lead animator in the Lion king?
A. I was acquitted of the charges in 81' when I was 4 years old.

Q. How many hits do you get per month?
A. About 7 million*



*minus 6,999,7000

Q. Can I donate money to Antifart.com?
A. You can't donate money directly. Although, you can donate money to yourself.

Q. What ever happened to the free toilet paper promotion?
A. The advertising company stopped paying money and started to actually charge me for its services. Unfortunately, nobody ever got any free toilet paper :( Have faith, I am offering 100% Free used toilet paper for a nominal fee of 8 million dollars. Happy Christmas! 

YOU COULD BE THE NEXT PERSON TO BROWN YOUR PANTS!