Old Farting Advice
This is where I store old questions.

Uncle Frank writes...

    Cote, I've heard it said that beans are known as "the Musical Fruit." I don't understand this at all. Can you expound upon what makes them so "musical"? Thanks.
AskCote responds...

    Frank, I recommend purchasing the book entilted "My Musical Butt and Me: Flavors of the month". This book goes into every aspect of "the musical fruit". Why does my ass stink? Is it okay for my butt to shake and shimmy when I release my gasses? Can my butt dance? Why do I shit my pants? All the previous questions can be answered in: My Musical Butt and Me: Flavors of the month". I am highly skilled in the use of the fart muscle. I can do well over 100 "pounds" or more with my fart muscle in one session. I don't want to overflow the buffer in VI to explain "the musical fruit". Buy the book, read the book, and organize. Btw, I use an zzzzzz for my chair at work.

Santa writes...

    I AM THE EVIL LORD OF HELL FIRE! I WILL DESTROY ALL WHO STAND IN MY PATH OF EVIL CHAOS DOMINATION! BEWARE MY WRATH AND MY FURIOUS GAZE!

AskCote responds...

    I recommend that you divert your current anger to good use. Try organizing your fellow evil lords into a good labor union. Your voice will be heard brother! You will get more sleep and earn higher wages! Power to the people, or, err, evil lords. Btw, I use an s19303cc toilet brownie retriever.

Derek Holden writes...

    Like why, in repsect to my farts, do they smell like shit?

AskCote responds...

    try eating more chocolate and drinking lots of soda. Try harvesting your ear wax and always use wet naps when you wipe your ass. This will help give you a more personal relationship with god and your butt. I use a spectra 9x431 2 with my x5jbl sub woffer.

Patrick writes...

    My Breath stinks. It smells like shit. All the time. Even if I brush my teef. Then Ismell like minty poop. Cote, how can I solve my halitosisituation?

AskCote responds...

    try drinking more coffee that is defartinated. Stop using mentident and use colongate.
I use a jx5769e as my gutar and a fx989/ab switch between my amps.

Jeff writes...

    My kitty cat scratches on my couch. How do I get her to stop doing that?

AskCote responds...

    I recommend using a waterbased lubricate to ease the friction involved in scratching. Secondly, when I use my gas732 stero cable it normally deters my cat from scratching my balls/crouch/couch.

Pat writes...

    You farted? BOW WOW WOW

AskCote responds...

    Yes. I use an FRT3zxlb to capture the sounds of my farts on my pp6237 recv'r.

Jeremy writes...

    What do your farts smell like?

AskCote responds...

    My fart smell is dependant apon the day of the week and at what rate the Earth resolves around the Sun. For example, if it was tuesday and the Earth was "slow" that day, then I would smell like shit. In other words, I would have shit my pants. Distrubution of the stink is dependant apon the wind speed and direction.

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