Old Farting Advice
This is where I store old questions.

Bush writes...

    I believe in that in modern day america, people have yet to comprehend the true nature of the fart. I don't believe that sumliminal sequence of the gaseous substance is really coverted as a conspirer of the latter, thus inhibiting a post-traumetous, as oposed to a post-granulous in the solid form. Thus, the marginal being of a solid is, without harming the patent of the late Henry Einstein, not of oppostion in the creating of a significant, but yet loosly played, creation.

AskCote responds...

    Precisely! The fart does come out of your bum and spread joy to all. When I fart people look at me and say, "You are the greatest person to walk the face of the earth". This is completely true. My ass stinks and people love it. Secondly, farts save lives! Once I was drowning in my own shit and I farted. I used my ass hair to create a spark thereby creating and 10.9 megaton explosion and sending me out of the toilet bowl. Farts are great. Hug a fart today. I use a abcdefghijklmnopqrxtuvwxyz cable brownie blaster when I use the tinkle toilet tank.

Ben Weiner writes...

    Why is my supervisor at work a pain in my butt? She doesn't know anything about what I'm doing. Every time I try to do something better or more efficiently, she farts and make my life miserable. This wouldn't bother me so much if she was hot and had little super model farts. However, she is fat. She has that horrible fat person smell to her farts. I now have sympathy for Princess Leia for when she had to sit next to Jabba the Hutt and smell his farts all day. Of course I don't have to sit on my supervisor's lap and wear a gold bikini. That'd just be weird. Besides, I'd get cold and my farts would freeze. Help me Obi Wan Cote, you're my only hope!

AskCote responds...

    It looks like you are gonna have to fight fire with fire, or in other words, ass fighing. Eat lots of fiber (raisen bran), beans, eggs, vinagar, and coffee. Also, try getting yourself sick with diarea. Then, go into work and shit your freaking pants off. By siting on her lap wearing a golden bikini, you will be able to melt her leg thereby sending her to the hospital for life. Use the force of the butt ben! I use a PSX as foot stool in the toilet.

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