Old Farting Advice
This is where I store old questions.

Christa writes...
I heard that girls fart 7 times a day and guys 14, I don't fart 7 times a day is there something wrong with me?
AskCote responds...
I see you have done your homework. Excellent work! If you aren't farting 7 times a day then it could mean two things: 1. If you are farting less than 7 times a day, there is something certainly wrong with you. Anyone who farts less than 7 times a day probably doesn't have a butt hole and will die in less than 48 hours of existance. 2. You are pushing with too much force. This can cause hemorrhoids in small animals. I recommend farting when it's time to go, or suffer the consequences if you are a small dog.

Brent writes...
How do you fart?
AskCote responds...
Easy, I pass gas through my rectum and out my butt hole. My asshole in turn makes loud noises and people start to pass out. a+b=c a=stink, b=sound, c=people lying on the floor dead. I never got anything less than an f in math class. However, I did get a A+ in fartogophy.

Geoff writes...
How can I fart on command?

AskCote responds...
Intestine'ering question, but it requires a very complicated answer. Like so: Say this, "Please Mr. Ass god. I pray to you. Please release these evil gases from my anus. Please show the world that I am worthy of my existance. Please my ass god, pull my finger!" With that said, I recommend many commands. Try, "Go Go Gaget ass hole" or "I command the butt! Release!" If this doesn't work, take two apples, shove them in your ass, and call me in the morning. Call me doctor dingle for now.

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