Old Farting Advice
This is where I store old questions.

Big Fart-Maine writes...

    Do farts have lumps. How can I keep my shorts brown all the time?
AskCote responds...

    Yes, farts can and will have lumps from time to time. The problem with the lumps is sometimes they get a little out of hand. If you can't manage the lumps then you might blast your undies. Hence, leg driblets. This effect is called Undie Brownie Lumps or UBL for short. That reminds me of the first time I dropped my chill when I was in Wal-Mart.... I was standing next to a clerk when my nose started to itch.  I had a turtle head poking. I started to sneeze uncontrollable. I just couldn't hold my shit together. Before you knew it, my chili was dropped. The cops showed and and asked to see my UBL licensee. I handed them my Master Cracksmen License or MCL for the newbies. I said to the cop, "Bitch, step off. I dropped my chili". The cop backed down and gave me his wallet. The clerk ended up cleaning my chili pile. The point of the story is that when a chicken crosses the road they don't always make it to the other side. The chickens sometimes explode. Use a crayon to color you shorts brown when not shitting your pants. I use a KX-80 Mouse Moped Cycle when dispatching my chili. Sleep out.

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